THE CAT'S FANCY

I never learn a goddamn thing. I went back to another Cat Fancy. But... you know... I'm not going to let one horrible book called Cat Fancy keep me from reading another horrible book called Cat Fancy. That would be admitting defeat. And no book will defeat me.

The Cat's Fancy by Julie Kenner

Expectations:
Naked man-back, as he wistfully smiles back at us, holding a cat. The logo at the bottom indicates this will be "A Time of My Life"... and the font treatment screams "generic romance novel". Okay, I'm guessing this naked handsome man is some kind of Humane Society worker who loves cats... and somehow some lady is going to fall for him while bringing in a stray. He's going to at some point say "you're my rescue, __insert romance lady name here__". I'm sure of it. Man, I could have written this myself. I've got this nailed. Ladies LOVE men who love cats. FACT.

What I got:
.... what the...wait...what....what.... The CAT loves the naked man. The CAT goes to a magic cat to turn into a human. The CAT becomes a hot, voluptuous lady and has several ludicrous adventures trying to keep the naked man (he wears cloths) from marrying his bitchy fiancee. The cat makes friends with "Hoops" the best friend of Naked Man and his sister "Arty Girl that Believes in Magic". The CAT has sexy times with the man. The CAT gets her wish to be human. It's like the Little Mermaid, but if the mermaid wasn't even half-human, but was a freaking tuna.
THE CAT.

Cover Execution:
5/10
I was tricked again by a Cat Fancy!?! What the hell? I'm docking this half points for not having any kind of magical logo or anything to warn me. Look at the look on that cat's face now. You know what she's thinking? She's going to turn into a lady and hit that. How was I supposed to know this by looking at the cover? This is exactly the kind of face my husband's cat makes and now I REALLY don't trust her, that hussy.

Bonus:
Holy crap the ads in the back of this book are incredible.
"Something Wild"
Tara Martin seeks to make a name for herself as a star photojournalist...but when a plea from her best friend sends her off into the Appalachian wilderness to snap a Sasquatch, a twisted ankle leaves her in the most precarious of positions. When she looks up, she sees the biggest foot she's ever seen...attached to an even bigger man... with a colossal heart and a body to die for...

You. Are. Kidding. Me.

Bigfoot romance novels EXIST, ladies. The truth is out there.