Sunday, September 25, 2011


So remember when I found that hilarious ad spot for "the bigfoot romance novel" in the back of on of those Cat Fancy's? I had to find that book.

Something Wild by Kimberly Raye.

I don't see a damn bigfoot on this cover at all. It's just a nearly nude man and some of the worst blinged-out gold-scroll I've ever seen. "Legendary Lovers" really? REALLY? Ugh, I... oh man. Okay it's just going to be some crappy romance novel.

What I Got:
A crappy romance novel. You know, I admit- I've read a lot of these things. Way back in school a friend of mine set her dreams on being a romance writer. She would constantly let me borrow these to gauge what plots interested me or what mysteries of the mannish sex we could discern from smut forays. It's a curious industry... there's niches for every woman's dream scantily clad man packed into these wretched titles - and in this book someone is pinpointing the "really tall hairy guy that doesn't talk and has no idea what a boob is". I mean, there's a whole part of this book devoted to the leading man curiously squeezing the leading lady's breast in naive befuddlement.

I'm just saying, I have no idea whose fantasy it is to hang out with a daft mountain wookie that doesn't know what a boob is. But there you are. Ladies, he's all yours.

Anyway, prissy writer goes out to cover a bigfoot story, falls down, breaks ankle, huge mountain man saves her and takes her to his cave... blah blah- I'm sure you can see where this is going. Oh there was a raven-spirit and some telepathic bears. That was kind of cool.

Cover Execution:
It's a crappy romance novel. The only point is docked for the fact that he's covered in an epic beard for most of the book so this is partially a lie. Also, because I'm just bitterly disappointed there wasn't really a bigfoot in this story.