Tuesday, December 27, 2011


I needed to get away from A) romance novels and B) cats. Back to the loving embrace of horrible Sci-Fi for me!

Queens of Deliria by Michael Butterworth. Please note this brilliant idea was by Michael Moorcock.

Well, let's be rather honest. You don't have to be male to notice there's two enormous mammaries framing what appears to be a large Phantasm ball. Also, the face of the female specter is donning rad shades, and has an amazing lens flare on her teeth. I think there's a demon down on the floor of the... I guess this is pinball field. Okay. Spirit trapped in a Phantasm pinball rolls around facing demons as a giant demon boobbeast looks on with smug glee? Really, that's my best guess.

What I Got:
Sweet God. This book is horrible. It's so horrible, I'm having a hard time expressing what it was about- I'm sure I could write a dissertation on the plot and still it would make very little sense. (Of course, this is the second in a trilogy... maybe the first book has some kind of cipher to help comprehend this). I'll attempt to paraphrase.

In the future, there's a Death Machine that makes horrible death music that slowly kills anything that hears it. The whole world has been destroyed in the previous book by death music so the only remaining people are crazed rock fans that listen to the Hawklords- who are the Children of God that are rock legends and zany guys. They play constantly some kind of magical rock music that can stave off the Death Music. They can also play recorded music by blasting it out of guns. There's a ghost of another guy, spirits of angst, some kind of metal bird machine, floating motorbikes, vortexes into the unknown, killer hogs, sexual organ instruments... Oh god I bet you already lost me. And my head hurts. Let's just say this book is such an abyss of WTF, one can lose themselves in it and suddenly- the book is over and you feel, somehow, it's drained you of your life.

And you can never get it back.

Cover Execution:
There's actually a scene where the Hawklords are sucked into a mystic game of pinball by the Queen of Deleria, who appears as a monstrous fat red woman in the sky. Actually, aside from the fact that the "demon" was really a Hawklord and the man "in" it was a reflection of said Hawklord... this is fairly accurate. However, god damn does this not even begin to cover what happens in this book. At. All.

PS: I totally will find the first book and the sequel. I can't help myself.