The greatest thing e-books have done is let people publish things practically for free, and I'm pretty sure the covers are some of the best Photoshop jobs around. I picked this because apparently I am dreadfully amused by books about the terrors of bears.
THE SUBSTITUTE by Terry Hayman.
This bear is about to mess up your day. He's got (totally natural) red eyes and big teeth and he's going to SUBSTITUTE his salmon dinner for your face!
What I Got:
A man is sure his daughter is being selected by the evils of nature to serve as a sacrifice, because nature demands random teenage girls be killed to atone for our automobile exhaust and pollution of water supplies and such. He decides to go out into the woods and yell at nature and tell it to kill him instead. Nature then sic's every bit of wildlife, from robins and squirrels and a giant bear on him and literally rip him up and leave him to die. He survives as a bitter, wheelchair bound shell of a man missing several important body parts.
This is why I never go camping. Nature hates us.
A bear eats off his manhood. You have every right to fear bears.